raat ka shauk hai..raat ki sondhi si khamoshi ka shauk hai

Should I make this post like most other b-school posts and inform you that we have google , microsoft, Mr Gopinath (of the Air Deccan fame) and Mckinsey all coming to campus in the next 2 days ?And that there is a clash of class n events and we dont know wht to do? Or that term 4 has been riddled with frantic resume preps, alums flying in for case workshops, AD Little creating a frenzy, and the club I am the President of , the Arts n Creativity club calling Julius Macwan and Ms Kalpana Lazmi? I could but then you would be reading all this neway in the zillion other blogs which all we b-schoolers, assuming the moral responsibility of educating the prospective interns find necessary to maintain. But who said I am assuming any such responsibility. Not that any of you prospects read this anyway.!! But for the two people who do, I am sure you would not be interested in the journal of my fourth term here at ISB. Or at the fact that I am totally , absolutely confused about the job I want to do, or the electives I want to take. That consulting, the dream job of the dreamy hopefuls does not seem to be something I would enjoy. Or that Mckinsey or BCG(ok this is in a voice hushed with reverence, thats the kind of aura these firms command here, Im just observing protocol btw), doesnt seem at all likely to even consider me:D..No you would not be interested.. Or would you? Then you would just be amused actually, chuckling and thinking to yourself , who asked her to rush to b-school when she wasnt even sure what she wanted to do? For everything in life you need to have a goal and a plan..you would murmur complacently and suggest that I better start introspecting and find out. Self awareness is after all ..essential. Is it?

I feel this entire goal concept is kind of overrated. I am tired of fending questions about what I want to major in, or the company I want to apply to, or the kind of job I see myself doing some 100 years down the line beacuse the fact is I DONT KNOW. And I dont want to know. Self awareness is just a depressing exercise and the only thing I am made aware of more acutely is the fact that I dont know. And I am happy not knowing. I am happy just learning stuff for the sake of learning( but I do know that I hate accounts), and working on my "socialite club" coz it interests me , and yes it is not a huge resume point and it maybe absolutely unrelated to whatever I finally decide to do with my life, but the fact is it makes me happy now.

And when was the last time we here at ISB did things just because we wanted to , without obsessing about whether it would help us in that dream shortlist?? I did that for some time myself. And I am not sure how much it helped and how happy I was doing it. But then you would say, hedonism is hardly what you came looking for... to ISB...

This would hardly be classified as hedonistic..Ok I think this post is just a fallout of the fact that there has been an overdose of people claiming they want to do such n such just coz it is a resume point..and this is my blog and my ranting space so bear with me..

I dont think it is wrong. I would most likely do the same myself. But there is a time when you need to sit back and maybe do something just coz u like to, study for a course, work on a bplan, organize an event just for the sake of the activity itself, and not wondering whether it would help you in anyway..and you would enjoy it much more....at least I think you would..but enough of this..the people here are amazing, brilliant, talented people and this is just because of the fact that we have too little time, too much to do, and too big a loan to pay off:-s

Neway I am currently crooning this song shauk hai, (film guru), its that ultimate warm doughnutty, candy flossed, hot chocolatey sweet song..u get tired of it soon, but is pleasant while it lasts..

"subah ki roshni

bezooban subah ki aur gungunati

roshni ka shauk hai"

It just going to be dark and the sky outside my room is a smooth silky velvety blue, right after the rains, the clouds form dark shadows but these are fast disappearing..

My room is at the end of the "student village" as they call it here and there is this deserted orange track running amidst the dark greenery. From the orange glow of the night lamps you can sometimes see the occasional stray dog but thats about it.

But if you just press your face to the glass pane, and just look out, the glassy eyed view of that scene (pun fully intended), and u think..well..what do you think....