Tuesday, December 11, 2007

she acts like summer and she walks like rain..

Retail therapy…this weekend was by far the most relaxed in ISB…went shopping bought formals..ok this is not working..

Pencil scrawls are so insubstantial but I somehow can’t type if I have to write. Call it a quirk or just a handicap, call it technologically challenged..hmm not really, call it shutting yourself out from any semblance of work or social commitments , call it just an inadequacy, or a desire to “pen” down thoughts, or call it just a lack of thoughts, coz I have been increasingly morphing into a wilted cabbage. I have to write. Devoid of thoughts, ideas and sometimes even emotions. Devoid of any sense of urgency or responsibility. I have to write. Its an effort. I try not to steal glances at my laptop where every minute or so, a mail pops out, reminders and otherwise..

So anyway back to clothes..

Pinks and pastels, cool and silken to the touch , browns and blacks, preening and sturdy, saleswomen nodding and smiling ...like for ever, prospective customers, rich and supercilious. Blue..the cool blue of the appraising glance, blue.... dark around the eyes, lighter as the shadow, lighter still in the stole, red around the wrists, proclaiming, blatant red, red of the finger nails digging deep into that sole support..

Trials and fittings, discerning eyes, scanning shelves, mental calculations, sweeping glances over expensive knits, critical glances, surveying the keep..more smiles still and protestations, cajoling and conniving , indecision and firmness, and the final flourish of that signature and the final swish of that gold card..

Movies and popcorn and a half empty movie hall..the plot a drag, but colors on the screen and larger than life, music and laughter and sketchy characters, desperate to find meaning in their roles, infusing one with their own hopelessness, but there is one actor who is brilliant and he makes you smile and he keeps you there, entwined , entranced, though you know its silly, ( I hate going for movies in a group, never understood the point, I want to watch them undisturbed) , some songs make you smile, some scenes make you cringe, lights on and the crowd, teeming, jeering and unusually loud in their remarks, unusually mirthful in their comments, as if acting themselves, or desperate to prove intellectual superiority..over whom??

Music and snazzy lights, music and dance, music and laughter, music and compliments, music and more music... faster and faster..

Editing word docs..white and vapid..streaks of fluorescent ...of highlighted text, streaks ad hoc when you are bored and guilty, multiple tabs open , many more closed, and opened again…a sense of accomplishment, and coffee and tea..steel grey and black, ginger brown and sugar white, and hot and piping and reviving , like F.R.I.E.N.D.S. reruns watched again and again..vicarious pleasures, hot chocolate feel and cookie comfort..

Ok so this was my weekend …

Saturday, December 08, 2007

khoya khoya chand

"kyun khoye khoye chaand ki firaaq mein talaash mein udaas hai dil
kyun apane aap se khafa khafa jara jaraasa naaraaj hai dil
yeh manjilein bhi khudahi tay kare, yeh faasalein bhi khudhi tay kare
kyu toh rasto pe phir seham seham sanbhal sanbhal ke chalta hai ye dil
kyun khoye khoye chaand ki firaaq mein talaash mein udaas hai dil"
and sing again...and sing along
So I am going to rant in this post..I am going to whine..I am going to say stuff I had avoided till now coz of what "people wud say"
I dont care now..I wish I had never cared...But Google interview prep is killing....they expect you to prepare everything in the world for that 45 min phone conversation. ...
I got shortlisted for the role of a product manager..ok so the next time a prospective intern googles for product manager interview prep hopefully this post would show up provided it has
a good number of incoming and outgoing links..and well..no click fraud..n the likes (ok so that’s
the extent of my prep till now)
I had resolved when I came to bschool that I would not go back to tech again..and of course that is exactly what I would end up doing…if not google which is a minisicully microscopically possible given some 13 rounds of technical and design and strategy and calvin and hobbes( ok I made up the last part..but u get the drift) questions. So now that I have gotten over the initial shock of getting shortlisted..(the typical profile of a PM I was told would be a Computer Science Btech, preferably MS with about 8-10 years of work experience in the tech sector)..I am a Chemical undergrad with about 2.5 years of work ex in Oracle..so now that people have stopped expressing shock and wondering which word of my CV got me the shortlist(!!!!)..I guess I have to start prep..
Guess I have been very quiet about my life here at ISB..
The terms at ISB have simply flown by..I have learnt a lot… in the course work mebbe..but otherwise too..about dealing with people, about myself and what matters to me and what does not..actually more of what does not ....(thrs too much of a time crunch here..u have to take a call)..and I am almost on to the placement season …and I will not look back and reminisce..coz that’s very boring and too much effort anyway..but things will surface..
So the action in the placement front till now has been that I got shortlisted for Deutsche bank
..did not make it though..and dats another story..Im not going to make this one of those preparing for Deutsche blogs
Making a CV is a painful process..especially if you are one of those who doesn’t like talking about
herself, or hasn’t thought too much about why she did anything ( well it just happened that way,
doesn’t cut any ice in any interview), was happy doing whatever work was assigned to her, and
never gave a thought to whether she was honing her analytical and problem solving abilities in the process..
But thanks to a few wonderful people who helped me out, a mutinous hastily typed scrap of paper can now join the hallowed ranks of what would officially be called a resume..dont get me started on the EOI..dats another story..well not really coz I still cant write that one..Even while I am writing this I am flooded with phone calls and mails about 3 different assignments, and submissions..but I will persist..But anyway..u live and u learn..(though the learning aspect had been reduced to a minimum for me post term 5)
So switching tracks…
The next post will be different..will I stop feeling guilty about writing!!!! I waste enough time as it is..