Fear of the dark

I have the fear of the dark. No I like the song. But really. Seriously. I fear many other things too. But that will come later. If I want to that is. If I feel like it. For I fear I will reveal too much of myself.

I cannot stay in a room which is pitch dark. I need some kinda light, however dim. I need some kinda security, however fleeting. Darkness makes me insecure and helpless, and in the paranoia I cling to the diffused sense of security provided by the night light. And when you are desperate and fearful how important is that feeble ray of light? of hope? How we exalt it. How we feel at once secure and able and ready to take on the world. Basking in the aura of something so inconsequential.

We are optmists . All of us . We are hopeful. We hope to find that elusive ray of light. And we do find it. In most things. Purely because we want to.If it is just a question of will and if we know that the bulb is dispensable why then are we so afraid of the dark? Of loneliness. Of venturing out alone. Of breaking free. Of assuming responsibility. Of taking control. Why cannot we carry on alone in seemingly hopeless situations knowing that it is just our distorted vision, just a trick of the light?

Why do we clutch like a dying man in a sinking ship to any straw that we find and exalt it to a rescue boat? And it mostly sinks. It mostly lets us down. Except when we realize that it is but a straw.