Of friendships and Orkut

When I initially started writing this blog it was just for me. I wrote what came to my mind and it was an exhilarating experience. But the moment people started commenting on it, I felt wary. I felt responsible. There were expectations, demands and judgments. As long as this was about me, I was unfettered. The moment I connected it to people, I felt restrained.

Society is important in that it forces us to exercise some basic restraint when dealing with other people. This is what makes a community function and is important.

And so we make a compromise. And we stifle our imagination. We create imaginary boundaries. And we concur. Somewhat. We all do. Humans are amazingly receptive. We concur without realizing that we are. Every time....everywhere.

But enough of this. This blog is about Orkut, or should I say about Orkut and well meaning prospective friends...with the likes of whom we are supposed to tread on "rocky roads of friendships"..or “stormy seas??” depending on preference.

So u have people coming to your scrapbook and posting a "hai!!!!!how hv u bin?"..with other innovative variants of the English language...and color codes..so that u have fluorescent looking blobs..in place of strategic letters..(its a gud tactic, if ur not too sure of the spelling..kudos!!!), and whilst u blink trying to recollect when u met venkatesh or is it chiranjeevi?? or rajnikanth last, complete with sunglasses of shades which merge successfully with skin tones...

Whilst u do that…there would be another epistle from some cOoLDuDe(is this some kinda secret code??) ABC with a "lonely and depressed" or a "waiting for love" or some such declaration trailing after this Morse coded name….announcing "myself ABC..friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddzzzzzzzzzzzz"..with a determination designed to make u notice, if at least the irritating scrollbar which appears when the zzzzzzz's are stretched to infinity!!!!

Or you would have this taciturn dude who plainly believes that brevity is the soul of wit (or a hit?? depending on short term goals)..

So every time u refresh your page there would be a "hi"...and then another...and after a few hi's floating around your page, u would find him getting restive and there would be the last determined effort which would be a "hiiiiiiiiiiii".Talk about words filled with meaning!!!

Some domineering ones would also demand "why you not RePlY me!!" and end the scrap with a "keeeeeeeeep scrapppppppppppppin''..which makes you wonder if an MPD(multiple personality disorder for the uninitiated ) might not just be more common than actually believed.

Since my imaginary boundaries are screaming a red alert at this point, I shall clarify here that I think Orkut is a great way to make friends and keep in touch...and discover people with similar interests, these are just random occurrences and are NOT meant to deride anyone…and the bottom-line, these are after all just my thoughts… so peace..

So anyway, back to business :D..and again if u happen to be a presentable looking female..u would be flooded with "u luks lOvElY"( again a coded message which I am sure is a word filled with meaning and implications;)..if I can just read between the umm..caps locks??)

or a drawing of a questionable chick??duck??rose??..an entire farmhouse..with a greeting.."for my most sweeeeeeeeetttttttttessssssst best friend"..ok..this dude sure doesnt have too many expectations from life!!!! or from the more emotional ones.."myself XYZ..will u JOIN with me??"..umm join with u??this early?this has to be one presumptuous guy!!!!

Another class are the "wanderers", people who just "pass through" your profile on an average of 8 times a day..They would go "Hai(ok this is one version of the greeting which never caught one with me)..how HAVE u been?was just passing thru" and u would wonder at the description of your profile as a stop over on the road to.."higher profiles?"

So u decide that you have had all the well wishes to last u a lifetime, and u cordon off ur profile with a "private property..DO NOT trespass"(read..I DO NOT add people i dont know..or make friends with them), u would then be paid a visit by the "Thinkers".

It is the lot of the thinkers to gently advise people trespassing from the "all encompassing love" of their friendships" with aphorisms.

So u are flooded with metaphysical queries.."If u don't add people u don't know..how wud u know them??"
Now this is a vicious cycle..a question comparable to the proverbial chicken and the egg theory and my mortal unfriendly brain really cant come up with a solution!!!

And so we create boundaries…and then we try to digress..all of us..sometime or the other…and then people mock us, question us…and some of us conform…

Of fairy tales...or mebbe not

Life can be pretty scary sometimes.
There was once a poor maiden who dreamt of being a queen(no this is not Cinderella..thts just so passé).This is a modern day fairy tale, the kingdoms and queens are just for atmosphere.
So armed with her favorite book she set out. No she couldn't read, but she had found the book lying near the brook one day, and the embossed gold lettering had fascinated her(In those days, gold not diamonds were a girls' best friend).She instinctively knew that it was meant for her. Now our pretty little beggar woman (BW), (and yes she was pretty) never bothered her head too much over such trivialities as ethics and possessions, I mean get a life..she was a beggar, so obviously she would grab it.
So she set out to where she knew the castle would be, it was dangerous terrain, through a forest, and the usual paraphernalia. She could see the spires of the castle from her hut. She was excited.
On her way she met Jack, of the beanstalk fame. He had just purchased the magical beans and so was thrilled. He hailed her. She was impressed with the sparkling beans and her eyes nearly popped out when the beanstalk grew.
"Lets climb", said Jack excitedly. Now our BW was doubtful for who knew what lay ahead? And besides she couldn't climb to save her life, having tried it once when chased by the neighbors’ Alsatian.

But this climb was simple. But she was scared of what she might encounter.
"Well from the little general knowledge I have:, said Jack,"u are accosted by a giant, u kill him and then we can be king and queen", he said looking at her fondly.
Now BW was practical. The probability of being a queen after being "accosted" by a giant , seemed pretty microscopic. But she was sorely tempted when she heard the queen part.
In a fix, she opened the book.” Run away" said the book(she could understand what was written, fairy tales don't bother with such technicalities, nor do the K serials and both are equally popular). Chuck this Jack, I’ll find better looking guys. I mean no offense meant , he might be brave and all that, but Jack was hardly a Brad Pitt, and one did want some romance in ones life, even when one was a queen.” Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown", she thought in a moment of inspiration, but it should be regal looking head at least.
The day wore on, and she carried on. Our BW was a determined one. But she had had nothing to eat all day, and fainted on the way. When she woke up she was in the house of the 7 dwarfs. Moody the talkative one , being in a benevolent mood, came to her kindly. She told him about her ambitions.
"Well that’s easy", he said.” Statistically speaking, if u stay with us and cook for us and the likes, there would be a day, when u eat a poisoned apple and die and are then rescued by a prince".
The mortality rates for wannabe princesses seemed to be unusually high, reflected BW."What if I die?", she ventured.
" What is life without a few risks?”said Mopey uncharacteristically.
The BW considered this and agreed. But the days wore on and she grew impatient. Plus these dwarfs were a demanding lot. She finally decided that the elusive apple could be eaten by some other nutty maiden. She opened the book.” Run off ", the book suggested again.
On her way she met Jack, now a king with a beautiful though anorexic looking (she thought unkindly) queen, and felt a stab of jealously.
She noticed a tower with a beautiful maiden, whose unusually long braid hung from the tower. It, was tempting so she climbed up and heard Rapunzel's story.
She was irritated. The world seemed to be full of these starry eyed maidens all looking for careers in the queening department, and willing to go to any lengths (literally!!!), and letting their hair down(again literally!!!!), in the disgusting fashion, for every passerby prince.

She thought fast.” The prince is already married", she told Rapunzel."U had better escape. Here, let me cut your hair and tie it to mine, and then u can escape."
Now Rap, sans the weight of her heavy locks was actually a feather head.
Our BW settled herself at the window and began a soulful rendition of "Unbreak my heart”. Sure enough the prince arrived and began climbing up. But the knot was not strong enough and a horrified BW felt it loosening and before her eyes her prince charming fell flat on the ground sustaining a broken rib by the sound of it. He was rescued by Rapunzel who had lingered on, near the bushes.

In desperation BW turned to the book. A blank page stared at her. She felt a movement behind her and saw the witch.” It wont tell you anything ", said the witch. This book only tells people what they most want to hear. Its one of my favorite bits of magic ",she said proudly.

“And what use is that?,” said BW unkindly. "Well its for people like you, who are too scared to follow their own hearts, but readily agree when it is sanctified by someone else even someone as insignificant as a book. Plus my dear you never had it in you to become a queen. You lacked the courage of Jack, the patience of Snow White and the perseverance of Rapunzel".

Oh don’t sound like one of those self help books”, said BW crossly. "All these emotions are so outdated!!!"

"Well you don’t have too many brains either", said the witch now affronted. At this our BW burst into tears, and the witch felt sorry for her.” Well think of a fairy tale you want to be in, and I promise u shall be the queen if you stick it out".

But BW was not sure. She glared at the book which was now flashing "Cinderella" in gold leterring" .I am not even sure I want to be a queen", she ventured.” But I don't want a life which is pre-decided for me at least".

And she went back to that brook and kept the book beside it. She was a spiteful one, and knew there would be many more wannabe princesses, u just couldn't be too careful in these matters. Being a queen was serious business.

I wanted this to be one of those bschool blogs...but well..or how I finally got the hang of bschool essays

(Disclaimer:these r purely my own thoughts and not meant to deride anyone..take it wid a pinch of salt..)

Yea..I left it pretty late.... at the last minute trying to cram in two applications..So this blog is more abt what I really think my essays shd contain...its wat comes abt after repeated readings of "Why I want to do an MBA" , after essays written by guys, who when they were toddlers and their mums pushed them around in prams, saw the Harvard building in one of these life changing moments and discovered their calling " who, ever since they cud spell Sloan knew that they wanted to go there, and lived their lives as shining beacons of integrity and competence.In the midst of all this goodness they also started a few companies, made phenomenal profits, and organized fund raisers abt every evening and did community service when they wanted a breather.Once they were CEO's they decided they wanted to go to bschool.
The first time I read these bschool essays, I had a minor stroke.The world seemed to be full of these lean mean focussed sharks who had an unimaginable list of achievements.I felt like this slightly daft goldfish(oh ok I am a narcissist)..who had unwittingly strayed into forbidden territory.
Neway once the initial shock wore off, it was a matter of twisting words and umm..well dats another story..n not one I am likely to go into..
But at the end of it, I really enjoyed the process.It was a time of introspection, and remembering all those high points in your life.A very pleasant experience if you ask me.So though the essays arent much to speak of, working on them does give you one of those sunshine moments.
Ok to come to more pressing issues..I have been reading pratchett..yea that mite be kinda obvious by this post, but a few other books I would recommend, The Shadow Lines(Amitav Ghosh), easily his best book, read it for the imagery, the style, Transmission by Hari Kunzru, exceedingly well written, very droll, very insightful portrait of the contemporary IT male, was in the middle of reading the Rushdie latest when Flatmate1 unceremoniously took it and went off smwhr, so cant comment much, but it looked promising.
Guess I should be getting back to drafting an essay for "what matters most to me", wish I cud mk it a "who matters"...well but thts tricky...

to giddy with luv:):)..but then some things never change!!!!

It’s a working day tomorrow and I have a call early morning. I am hardly your vintage techie(dunno why I used tht adjective here)I don’t satisfy any of the requirements of the so called cult.I mean I cant stay up at nites reading abt the latest jdk version or smthng or wax eloquent abt firefox(I mean I don’t see why a window popping in another tab….should make me shout ‘eureka’ and feel tht the society is finally utopian )..so I feel kinda silly among the hallowed presence of this ‘passionate species’, also I don’t party all through the weekend...and an MBA once told me was the principal “techie” trait(kinda silly if u ask me..but then again he is an MBA:D)
But this post is about giddy...or rather abt us n giddy...my namesake n anti-alter ego(no dats NOT a word:D..but pretty apt dont u think?)in college. Being room mates all through college we just had to be friends..but then again it was natural with giddy...
The fact is dat she wud be married soon and while we are planning our clothes n jewellery fr the event, it is kinda natural tht I recount some incidents, coz after all
they were memorable..
Once the four of us were in a crowded bus from MG to airport road. We missed our stop so the usually excitable G wailed like a banshee and pushed me ,crying squeakily for me to get out. I don’t know what superhuman feat she wanted to propel me to…but the result was that I overbalanced and neatly landed on the lap of a rather sinister looking lady. She was apparently just all looks and no spunk..coz after I surveyed my new found surroundings. I was so angry with giddy that I proceeded to chide her thoroughly all the while forgetting that I was cosily parked on this lady’s lap. But after the initial shock wore off....or I guess her sinister instincts were aroused she decided to take matters into her own hands(literally) and pushed me off her lap with a rather determined air. I am told I gave her a rather injured and hurt look…for unseating me from this position of power …and then with a resigned air picked myself up to general amusement of the whole bus. I was specifically asked to recount this incident by my friends (humph!)..who were all pretty delirious at that time. I fail to see the humor but I guess I cud have waited a while b4 scolding giddy..:D
to be contd...

friday afternoon musings..umm ramblings rather..and MBA essays(boo hoo)

The somnabulistic era thrives...returns rather….having written a disastrous exam in the past week and thus effectively shutting myself out from the "indian mba aspirations"...I hv landed myself with the the extremely non cerebral and daunting(sob!!!!!) task of drafting essays for the few bschools whose tuition fee I can ethically pay without resorting to marrying a wealthy octagenarian and poisoning his coffee.
I just read the first draft of my essays, and marveled at how prentitious I sounded.I mean do they actually believe that we go about our lives spreading "integrity" and working with "courage and conviction" and generally being florence nightingale clones.????????

If we did , with all that strength of character and earth shaking achievements I am expected to have I would be pretty much leading 10 BPO's and appearing on MTV cribs showing off that ethical money.
At this point of time I am very confused so this might sound slightly deranged.(wht doesnt)
I have this one essay where I had to list down 3 of my weaknesses. Now this seemed like a piece of cake so with all integrity I sat down and scribbled down my vices. I trundled off to show them to this friend of mine, who is an “applications expert” (having drafted a few herself) and generally knows the ropes and what is deemed "acceptable" n blah blah.
I was obviously told to change it.

“Your weakness should never actually be a weakness”, she snapped

.It was an aphorism.

“Hmm so wht shd it be???a strength??”, I was trying a lame attempt at sarcasm(I said it was lame).

“Now ur thinking like an MBA” she approved..

“a strength which shd be cloaked to sound like a weakness..which obviously ur working on..and so at this point of time..uve pretty much overcome it”

...And its still a weakness??..I said puzzled..”yes”..and dat was dat

So i set off to draft this non existent weakness’ essay...only i gave up after I counted about 5 occurrences of "excellence" "perfection" and "standards"..and decided that it would pass muster.

when u shdnt be writing

The sunlight filters thru the shuters a single shaft of promise, of warmth..I want to catch it to cling on to it..
I'll guard u jealously, shut out frm the world..my panacea,my elysuim
It slides between my fingers, elusive , sensuous,fugacious...
Free at last...intoxicated by the warmth, trembling with the anticipation..
I come out of my reverie as the night falls...
chilled to the bone..but its not tht cold..
trepidation, fear...ephemeral hope
my life is like a pandora's box..
its full of promise..I'll open it everyday..
bit by bit..
a snippet of reality
a kaleidoscope of aspirations
dream on...

Benares:A lesson in mysticism and in other ways..

So here goes..

Heeding the ministrations of a certain 'giddy' female we all bought tickets for the evening show of Benares, 'A Mystic Love Story' was the theme....I was obviously intrigued.. (

no, Im not that dumb).I think the movie ratings have been kinda unfair. In which other movie wud u find would-be 'devis'(indian mythological goddess for the uninitiated) dancing around in capris and skirts with prospective inhabitants of the spirit world???

The protagonist with a mouthful of a name(Swetambari)..which was abbreviated to 'Swetha'..whenever her modern self reasserted itself...is in love with a ...a...ummm..well anyway, he died ........
And became a spirit and left her with miraculous healing powers...(not before grooving to a raucous holi number with our budding devi).After that the mere mention of his name would be accompanied with a haunting SooooHum(aplogies to AOL fans)...and mositening of Swetambari's heavily made up eyes...
In the end we catch a glimpse of his 'spirited' form..floating in the heavens and fondly looking over our 'Shweta Maa' who is now a renowned spiritual entity in Mauritius(??...they needed the beach for the aesthetic affects, I guess)
USP: Our lead lady's histrionics..yeah even as an evolved soul she was not 'above' a little hysteria now and then(mostly in the haunting moments following the SoooHummm background score..designed to shock the soporific audience back to earth..Im sure ).Anyway she had her merits..for the earthly version of SoHum(our male lead…yes that was his name..no I don’t think the pun was intentional:-s)..was pretty lifeless even before he achieved the higher portals.(thankfully!!!!)....except one memorable scene in which he had a 'vision'..of a united world(yawwwwwwwwn!!!)..which apparently gave him a splitting headache...??..and he passed out before a doting and extemely ineffectual Swetambari..